Aftermath
by Wallflowerwolf91
Summary: This is if Cam tried to commit suicide at a later time. I tried to follow close to show and some dialogue, reactions, and consequences have changed.
1. Alternate Bittersweet Symphony 2

Cam was already late for what he was planning to do he was going to do he even felt like he already screwed up his last few hours being alive. He was planning to do it earlier in the morning but he had fallen asleep holding onto Hoot, Maya's stuffed owl that he was holding ransom. He didn't want to end his life but he felt like there was nothing else to do, he broke up with Maya, was yelled at by Dallas, and was suspended from school. Nothing was going right he screwed up everything and he never felt so alone so what was the point of even going on with life.

He finally arrived to Degrassi he looked down at his watch it was 6:27 A.M., no one would be around for two more hours until school started. He didn't know what he was doing he felt his heartbeat racing and didn't know where he was going to make his death space. He had heard that there was a way that he could get into the school while it was closed for the night but he didn't want any chance of the teachers finding him before he could killed himself. He had to hurry he had no time when people would be around and especially the weird people that come in really early. Looking around he saw a space that he been to and held a special place to him it was the greenhouse where he and Maya had there second date.

Eli was peering out the front door windows hoping to see Clare before she tried to avoid him for the rest of the day. He looked at his watch and saw that it was 7:15 A.M., he had never come to school 45 minutes early but this was important he had to apologize to Clare about reading her diary he felt so stupid for invading her privacy. To make up for it he had bought her breakfast and prepared a whole speech to make his apology he just hoped that she would accept the piece offering and forgive him. Then he saw her, but she wasn't walking towards the doors she was still moving down the sidewalk which he thought, "Is she that mad at me that she would try to sneak around trying to avoid me?" He ran out the doors to catch up with her and make his apology.

As he was making his case towards Clare which she accepted his apology which made him feel great, he made his snarky remarks which she loved then he heard a sound and saw something in the corner of the greenhouse. In the corner there was a kid just sitting on the ground crying large tears and his wrist were bleeding onto his clothes and covering the ground. A pair of hockey skates where lying next to him which Eli could see the blood smeared across the skates. He dropped the coffee and the breakfast sandwiches only uttering "Oh my God." Claire tried to turn around to see what was behind her but Eli grabbed her and told her not to look, she kept her eyes only at his chest. Eli looked right into her eyes with his serious look and told Clare, " Go find a teacher and call 911, tell them there is a kid out here who is in trouble and they need to hurry." He let her go and she looked confused she tried to turn to see what was happening but Eli yelled at her "Clare go now!" She turned and ran as fast as she could into the school only seeing a kid on the ground.

Eli then ran straight into the greenhouse and took off his jacket and ripped it into pieces he looked into the kids eyes that is when he realized that it was Campbell Saunders. He quickly wrapped the pieces of his jacket around Cam's wrist to stop the bleeding and then started screaming for help. Cam's eyes were bloodshot and looked at the stranger and asked "Why? You don't even know me." Eli just stared at him and just replied trying to keep his emotions together and to keep Cam calm " Umm. I'm Eli, I know who you are you Campbell Saunders I have seen you around school. Hey look at me, stay here with me." Cam was starting to go get drowsy and the pain that was in his arms were growing "Why are you doing this? Just leave me alone."

Eli looked at him with tears starting to build up and just replied "I will not leave you alone, you need help and I'm going to be here for you." Cam looked at Eli surprised and cried harder he felt regret for what he had done and tried to look for strength to stay alive. He focused on the memories of when he was with Maya who he loved, but he felt that she deserved someone better. Then he said out loud "If I make it through this, I will make everything better Maya. Please don't let me die."

Eli didn't know who Cam was talking to and just said "I won't let you die." Cam's vision started to become blurry and he could see a group of people forming behind Eli and a group of people pushing there way around the crowd of onlookers and pushing them back. Two people had come up next to Eli which one started to pull Eli away and the other focused his attention on Cam. Cam then heard the sound of sirens slowly as another noise was making the sounds seem underwater. Cam didn't have the strength to stay awake any longer and could only mutter a few words before losing conciseness which he said in a hush tone which only Eli l heard him say "I love you, Maya," then everything became black for Cam.

Maya was walking down the sidewalk with Katie who decided to park far away from the school, but her mind was thousands of miles away. Maya was worried from what happening yesterday that Cam may have text dumped her, which she now had to explain to Katie what was going on. Dallas then came up to ask her if she had seen Cam which she wished she would know also and was upset that he never replied to any of her text which she was beginning to get worried again like the last time he stopped texting her. That's when then they noticed the emergency personal around them in a frenzy like busy bee's never stopping. Madam Jean-Aux was corralling people away to there classroom's which she had a look of pure dread on her face when she saw Maya.

When Madam came up to the Maya, Katie, and Dallas Maya tried to hold in her excitement and tried to ask Madam if she could skip first period. Madam was at a lost of words and was looking quickly from Maya and Katie which she then replied "Maya, you need to go see Principle Simpson. Right away." Maya was confused and could only replied "Why?" Madam looked over at Katie and told her to go with Maya. Both of the girls were confused Maya was wondering did she say something wrong the only thing she wanted to do is get a extra practice in for her audition today. Katie was worried why Maya had to go that it may have to be about something with all the emergency personal wandering about.

Upon arriving to Principle Simpson office both of the girls were worried. Simpson told them who the stranger was in the room which he kept much of his attention on Maya and was trying to hold back tears. He then said in a controlled voice not trying to frighten the girls "Maya, I'm sorry to tell you this but Cam was found a hour ago trying to commit suicide." Katie was shocked and could only say "Oh my God," while Maya didn't show any emotion at all. Simpson continued saying "He was found in the greenhouse by students who called 911 and kept him alive until paramedics arrived which then he had passed out, he was taken to the hospital and there has been no reply about his condition." Maya wasn't believing what she was hearing everything was fine yesterday how could he try to do this to himself. The stranger said that if they needed to talk that the office was open and she is available any time just to talk. Simpson then gave them both permission to go home or go to the hospital if they wanted to which Maya wanted to stay and just practice.

Dallas was surprised like everyone else of what he was hearing about what Cam had tried to himself. The day was feeling like a haze and all he could think about was this was his fault that he drove Cam to try and take his life. He was in the student council meeting which Fiona came in and said that Spirit Week was canceled he didn't care about any of things that they were talking about his only thought was Cam. Marisol brought up the subject of the students writing messages to Cam so when he wakes up they could see all the love and support. Then the subject changed drastically to why Cam had done it which this was becoming to much for Dallas which he stormed off and then grabbed a near by trash can and threw it at the display case that was across the hall. Alli suddenly came out that saying "Dallas everything will be ok." This set off Dallas even more he told her that it was both their fault and they should have done something. Alli started crying uncontrollably and Dallas ran off from her and he had no idea where to go.

Katie was guarding the door of where Maya was practicing for her audition and was hoping that everything would be alright. She was worried because Maya didn't ask about Cam and if he was ok or shown any emotion she just wanted to practice. Katie was looking around at the people that had a look of worry on there face, she assumed that Cam attempt of suicide spread to the whole school by now. Katie then saw Simpson come around the corner in a quick pace and motioned Katie to come to her which she obeyed. Katie asked, "Is Cam alright?" Simpson replied "Yes, he is now stable, he is going to be alright but they are going to keep him for 48 hours on suicide watch at the hospital which gives his Mom time to get here." Katie started to tear up again but managed to ask "Is he allowed to have guest?" Simpson replied "Yes he is, you should take Maya to go see him it would probably help him. Now I have to go tell the Ice Hounds that Cam will be alright." Simpson then rushed off to find the Ice Hounds.

Katie returned to the door she was guarding and realized that she didn't hear any music and decide to go inside. Maya was putting her cello away and said that she is ready for her audition. Katie was still shocked that she wasn't even thinking about Cam and it was scaring her. She then looked at Maya in the eyes and said, "Hey Simpson just told me that Cam will be alright and he is going to be at the hospital for two days. I think it would be important if you went and saw Cam." Maya only replied, "What about my audition can I do both?" Katie was getting angry with her sister but kept her emotions from coming up and yelling at her and said "No Maya you can't do both. We will call the Junior Orchestra and tell them to reschedule. You need to go see Cam. Now go get your things, we will be leaving in 15 minutes."

Dallas was on the roof pacing back and forth with a beer in his hand looking down at the school and seeing the people below. He saw the niner that Cam was dating with Katie leaving from the school heading to the parking lot. He felt so bad about that he had drove Cam to trying to commit suicide it was all his fault and just wanted to jump so that he could end feeling guilty. He felt like he now understood what Cam had felt but he could go through with it that is when he heard the door up behind him. Fiona Coyne walked out and only said "Thank God." She explained how she heard some students that there was someone was on the roof, which he could only say that he felt so bad about how he had treated Cam and drove him to doing this and that it should have been him. Fiona quickly replied "That is not true, you have so many people that care about you. Simpson also just told Student Council that Cam is in stable condition, you still have time to apologize and make things better with Cam." Dallas turned and agreed that she was right he saw the concern on Fiona's face who approached him and grabbed his hand to embrace him.

Cam was looking up at the ceiling he didn't know what to say, what to think, how he should feel. He knew that he was alive that he was still here but for what he had done he had known that he had hurt so many people. He looked down at his wrist and saw the bandages that covered his wrist, looked around and saw his billet mom through the glass who was crying uncontrollably. He started to cry a little and felt horrible that he put her through this then he thought about his real family how scared that they felt right now. Then the door opened and a nurse came in and asked him questions about how he felt, why he did it, and told him that he needed to stay at the hospital for 48 hours for suicide watch. He couldn't believe that he had tried to escape one hell to the hell where only sick people go. The nurse left which Cam just continued to stare at the ceiling back and just started to cry harder then another nurse had come in and said that he has a visitor which he was shocked that someone came to see him so soon after all of what he had done.

Maya walked in with her arms crossed with no emotion on her face and just looked at the ground. She didn't walk very far into the room and looked up at him she didn't say a word and just looked right at him. There was silence in the air Cam didn't speak and neither did Maya until she couldn't hold it back. "You are so stupid." Cam only started crying saying "You're right." Maya "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you try to kill yourself? Why did you try to leave me?" She started crying and Cam's only response was "I'm so sorry." That is all he could say he repeated it over and over which Maya then moved towards him and only hugged him and they just cried into each others shoulders.


	2. The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

Maya was still holding Cam afraid of letting him go and losing him she wanted to stay by him through all of it, she was afraid of the unknown of Cam. She had been with him for 15 minutes and the only thing that he said was that he was sorry and they never escaped each others embrace. The hospital said that she could only be here for 30 minutes, she pushed him away to look him in the brown eyes which tears where still flowing. I then looked down at his arms and saw the bandages that covered his attempt to kill himself she moved her hands down toward them slowly which Cams only response was to try hide them but couldn't due to the hospital gown. Maya could only think 展hy? What had happened between yesterday and today. He said that it was the best night ever. She had to ask but maybe it was to soon, she was imaging all the scenario痴 of how would he react then Cam spoke up.

溺aya, I can't tell you how sorry I am and you don't deserve me, you deserve Zig or any other guy that doesn't make you cry all the time I do. Maya could only look at him with shock, did she really hear what he said he was trying to break up with her did he not love her? Mayas could only respond through her tears, 鄭re you serious Cam? You try to kill yourself and then when I come to see you, you try to break up with me? No, Cam I love you I don't want any other guy. I only want you and I'm going to be here for you. She tried to continue but Cams only had a look of frustration on his face and cut her off, 哲o Maya I don't want you here. I don't want you see me like this. I don't need your support,his voice began to increase in volume, 殿nd I don't need your love because I don't love you. Cams breathing was getting quicker and he was beginning to look around the room and his hands began to scratch on his arm. Maya began to worry she had only seen this come from him a few other times she tried to calm him down 鼎am, Cam, look at me, look at me settle down, breath. Cam's could only say, 敵et out of here Maya. Maya tried to give him a hug to settle him down but with little strength he rejected her hug and started to yell at her. 敵et out Maya, I don't love you.

Maya got up with tears just flowing down her cheeks and moved swiftly to the door, she then turned around. Cam was looking at her with enormous tears filling up his eyes and yelled at the top of his lungs. 敵et the hell out. It was the only time that he talked to her like that and it stabbed her in the heart because she knew that it wasn't him that wasn't the Cam she loved. The tears were the confirmation that the real Cam was in there and she was only hearing lies that the fake was telling that body to say. She didn't know what to do though she could only listen to her heart break for the guy that she was in love with. So she quickly made her way back to the lobby where Katie was waiting on her, which when Katie saw she rushed towards her and asked if everything was ok. Maya only could cry which she asked if they could go home, she didn't want to talk to Katie that Cam tried to break up with her after trying to kill himself.

While they were walking out Cam's billet Mom stopped them she looked right at Maya's eyes and shared a hug, they had only met only a few times and never felt like they were close until now. She asked Maya 典he police found this on Cam when he began to cry again she pulled out a object from her purse. 的 had never seen it in his room until last night when he was just staring at it and I thought it may be just looked at the object remembering that it brought her so much comfort when she was little and how he had it on him the whole time. She knew that this was one way she could help Cam, she looked at Cam's billet mom and said 敵ive it to Cam it will help him because it was important to me and it help with him being here. The car ride was silent the whole time which Maya fell asleep after crying for so long and trying to think of how she could help Cam, but she knew that a little piece of her is still helping even though he didn't want it.

The nurses had heard the screaming from Cam's room and saw the blond guest leaving with tears moving as fast as she could away from the room. When they entered Cam breathing heavily and fast and making no eye contact with any of the strangers entering the room he was only yelling 敵et out,over and over again while also cursing them. The nurses tried to calm him down for five minutes which then a stern looking nurse entered the room and said with loud voice over all of the people said, 溺r. Saunders if you don't calm down we will have to sedate you do you under me? Cam stopped yelling at the nurses but didn't stop averting the gazes from them and his breathing contiued to be rapid and heavy. A nurse moved closer to him and tried to relax him so that his breathing would go back to normal while all the other nurses left she stayed with him 20 minutes. She asked him what had happened and why did he make that young girl cry which he didn't answer he just looked out the window she then stood up and told him if he needed anything to push a button and she will be here as fast she could. She left the room but Cam didn't notice he just kept on looking out the window at the city and dark clouds that engulfed the day.

Cam felt horrible of what he had done to Maya not only once but twice. He tried to break her heart twice in one day, but he knew that she deserved something more that wasn't him. She only wanted to help every time that he felt sad but this was different he had tried to do something that could have killed him, he only wish he had succeeded and break her heart only once. This sadness was different from his previous ones it was ten times more intense he could feel it in his whole body. Not just where his cuts were but it was a numbing feeling on his skin that felt like he would never feel warmth again. His heart just feeling heavy that wouldn't go away which hurt his chest with the intensity, and his mind would not even leave that he even failed killing himself he couldn't do anything right. Maybe when they release him in a couple of days he would try again and maybe succeed this time.

Cam's billet Mom came in looking at him with just trying to hold tears back, Cam could only look at the corner of the room just trying to ignore eye contact from her. She tried to talk to him but he didn't respond and wasn't listening to a word she said he was only thinking, 渡ext time. After 15 minutes of no response she apologized that she didn't do a good job of trying to help him and began to leave, he still made no response. She turned around and said 鼎am, I talked to your family and they are flying out here tonight and will be staying at the house. Cam suddenly acknowledged her with only one word. 展hy? His billet Mom just looked at worry increasing on her face and her mind swimming of confusion, which she replied, 釘ecause they are your family and they love you, so why wouldn't they come and see you. She moved across the room and pulled something out of her purse she said 的 asked the doctors if this was alright for you to have in your room and I heard from Maya this will help you being saw what it was and just turned in his bed to avoid contact with look of what was staring at him now, his billet mom saw his reaction and put on chair on the opposite wall she then said her goodbye's and left with tears in her eyes.

Cam couldn't believe that his family was coming to see him usually when he thought of them coming to see him it would make him so happy. Except he was terrified about them coming to see him, he didn't want them to see him with cuts on his wrist and just sadness through his whole body. They would arrive to find him broken in so many different ways which would break them maybe worse than him. He was becoming a burden on everyone he cared about and thought they would probably be better without him. He looked out the window and saw that sun was setting and the streetlights were beginning to come on. Everything around him had a purpose but he was the only one that felt like there was no purpose he was feeling alone and afraid being in a different place for two days.

When he thought of himself being alone he turned around and saw what his billet mom put on the chair. The gray body and the large eyes of Hoot were staring at him with no tears or judgement from what he had done. He tried to get up to bring the small stuffed creature he was still weak from the amount of blood he had lost, the doctors said that he was lucky that he survived. The nurses that were watching him saw that he was trying to get up which one rushed to his room she only said 溺r. Saunders you need to stay in bed you are suppose to be getting rest. Cam didn't listen, he didn't notice her even entering the room he only just said 滴oot,and kept his full attention on the it. The nurse looked at him with a puzzled look then following his eyes saw the small creature inhabiting the chair. She went and grabbed the small owl and looked at him and said, 的f you want this, hey look at 's focus was only on Hoot which seeing it in someone else's possession only made him more determined to get it.

The nurse moved over to him and held out the owl which he grabbed it quickly out of her hands she was noticing that he was acting differently than when the girl was here. With her he was making complete sentences that made since even answered all the questions but when he made her cry and was freaking out he wasn't the same. She sat down next him examining him, he had stopped trying to get out of bed and was just looking at the owl, her heart kind of broke for the kid. She got up and told him 泥on't try to get out of bed again and if you need anything just hit that button and we will come to help you alright?Cam just looked down at Hoot which the then the nurse snapped her fingers at him which he looked up at her which she said. 的'm not leaving until you tell me that you understand, so do you understand? Cam just looked at her and then with a weak voice said 添eah I understand, and thank you.

The nurse smiled and said 典hat's more like it, have a goodnight Mr. Saunders. She turned around and walked away shutting the door which Cam followed her with his eyes until she was out of view. This was the second time that he felt like he came out of a tunnel of confusion and didn't know why this was all happening. He just wanted to be happy again and if he couldn't be happy then he would rather be dead which he still thought about. The only thing that was helping was seeing Hoot and how remembering how important it was to Maya, which she let him keep at the hospital he needed to apologize to her she only wanted to help. Which she was helping even just by letting him borrow Hoot for a little while longer he slowly started to drift into sleep thinking of Maya and also having Hoot next to him to remind him that he is not alone tonight.


End file.
